A constant with the clients I coach is the fact that they are entrenched in their own version of a “comfort zone.” These people choose to engage me as their coach with the belief that I will assist them with their objective of emerging from that state…much easier said than done!
During our initial consultation I make eminently clear that I shall empower them to change if they’re willing to commit to the concept.
I’ve often commented in this forum that I really don’t help people find jobs but instead coach individuals to score a rewarding and purposeful new career/life opportunity. In order to do so one must allow me to help them conquer the fear of change.
I begin by stating that the quality of life is the quality of emotions. It’s how you feel about things that truly matters.
Next I mention that there are no good or bad emotions, again both are real and of course how they affect your life depends on how you react to them.
Emotions either create or destroy; subsequently the fear of change has been known to derail even the best planned career search.
Understanding that emotions are created by only two (2) triggers; 1) Signature Values – those things that are most important in your life and 2) Conditioned Beliefs – the everyday things that you do in order to feel better about your values goes a long way to shaping a life.
A well documented obstacle to one’s objective or the major culprit (emotion) that impedes success is FEAR.
Reviewing the Law of Ignoring which simply states that whatever we ignore will undoubtedly get worse helps crystallize the importance of change in the minds of my charges.
Without sounding too cliché-ish courage is the antidote to fear – to become “fearless” is a state of mind. Suffice to say triumphing over the fear of change needs to be reinforced constantly. For the many that are averse to change it becomes critical for the coach to continuously encourage the client and assure that they are overcoming the fear together. Often times just knowing that you’re there for them will spawn success.
A couple of axioms that apply: to change how you feel – you must change how you think and if success is that easy – why isn’t everyone successful and happy? Think about it, what’s easy to do is also easy NOT to do.
Hence I have compiled a five step approach to attaining the goal of overcoming the fear, busting out of your comfort zone and learning to accept the realities of moving on toward a meaningful and fulfilling new career/life opportunity.
The 5 musts in a journey toward fearless living and embracing change:
1. You must want to change
You must make the conscious decision to change and have a deep-rooted desire to be in total control of your emotional state at all times. (I do realize the enormity of asking one to be in “total” control, but those of us in the coaching profession, be it in the realm of sports or career/life need to strive for perfection with regard to coaching points).
2. You must be committed to change
Commitment means you’ll pay any price and do anything to attain your goals and improve the quality of your life. Commitment means that you will do whatever it takes to succeed; and you’ll do it with a positive, healing-focused outlook. In other words and you’ve heard it numerous times from athletic coaches…quitting or failure is not an option.
3. You must employ massive discipline in order to change
You must be constantly aware of how you feel. Based on this disciplined awareness, know that when you experience an emotional shift or mood swing, you have powerful techniques at your disposal to stay cool, calm, and in control – no matter what the situation. Discipline creates miracles.
4. You must embrace discomfort to ensure change
Here is one of the most profound statements I’ll make: dis-comfort cures dis-ease. Physical therapy might be uncomfortable, but it will cure the dis-ease of a possible relapse. Chemotherapy creates massive discomfort for sure, but can eliminate the dis-ease of cancer. Changing your nutritional regimen to a vegetarian plan might be discomforting at first, but will cure the dis-ease of continued poor health. Discomfort is a gift and you should never shy away from it. On the contrary, it is complacency and comfort that induces poverty of the mind, atrophy of the spirit, and robs you of any chance of making a full recovery. Complacency significantly impairs the healing process. But discomfort is a healing friend, so embrace it rather than avoid it.
5. You must condition new techniques so that change becomes lasting
Once you have learned the disciplines of managing your emotions and approach your challenges with a positive attitude and empowered spirit, you must condition and master the techniques so they become second nature. Repetition is the mother of mastery. If you start to walk an hour a day to regain your strength and energy, you must condition this activity so it becomes routine – like brushing your teeth or taking a shower. Fearless living requires that you change how you think so you can condition and master new techniques in order to heal, recover, rejuvenate, and live the best quality of life possible.
So to change one must commit. It just so happens to be one of the most difficult concepts to grasp. It separates the 90 per centers from the 10 per centers…those who achieve greatness and live life on their own terms. Wouldn’t we all be happier living a rewarding and purposeful life?
Image Credit: Vicbuster